It’s nearly 9:00pm Monday night. Way later than I normally start any blog posts, let alone one I intend to publish tonight. My day got away from me. I don’t know about you, but lots of my days get away from me. Funny how day-to-day life makes that happen, isn’t it? If I go to bed tonight with one less item scratched off my mental to-do list than I added throughout the day, I’ll consider that a win.
I planned to post a blog entry today. Typically I like to post in the morning – by noon at the very latest because my best hours for creativity are early, before I get bogged down in the details of my day. But I just didn’t get to it. So after a day full of life, after I got the kids to bed and the kitchen picked up, I was all ready to sit down and do some mindless web surfing. Then I remembered I didn’t get a post done today.
My first instinct was to bag it. After all, I didn’t have anything in mind. If I wrote one quickly, it probably wouldn’t be my best work. It’ll be really short. There’s always tomorrow, etc. etc. etc.
And posting later into the night – well, many people will have already closed out their computers for the day. My stats won’t be stellar. Who’s going to share it if they like it? Without time to edit and re-edit, the odds that you make a grammatical error increase. The logic part of my brain was clearly trying to win this argument. Then I thought of something else. So maybe not as many people will see this as they usually do. That’s okay. Because honestly, as much as I enjoy seeing that people have read my blog, ultimately I write for myself. I write about creativity because it helps me understand my own creativity and motivates me to live a more creative life in the midst of the busyness that happens every day.
So tonight, I choose creativity. Creativity that is imperfect and fumble-y and unplanned. Creativity for the sake of creativity – not numbers or hits or even for clarity or inspiration. Creativity because I can and I want to and I made a deal with myself that I chose to honor.
I’m sitting here writing when there are lots of other non-creative things I could be doing, and maybe according to the General inside my head, very likely the things I should be doing. But amazingly enough, when I get done writing tonight, all those things will still wait for me on my endless to-do list.
And at least I can go to bed knowing I got to check off the one I value the most.