I haven’t been writing very much. Maybe you’ve noticed? What started out as a small break stemming from extended travel and a slight case of general burnout turned into several weeks of angst, stress and a general downward spiral into non-production. It’s been a case study in what happens when you (or more to the point, I) over-think a situation.
For me, it wasn’t only the not-writing I couldn’t stop thinking about. Because that piece was easy to resolve. Not writing? Then write. It was all the other questions that flooded in like water from a broken dam – most of them having to do with whether or not I should acknowledge my lack of writing. Should I be honest about my struggle, do my readers care why I haven’t been writing, do I even have any readers any more? I could go on and on, but you get the gist. I was stuck in the vortex of over-thinking. When I finally deconstructed my inertia and resistance I realized I had two options – Start writing again as if nothing had happened and move forward or acknowledge my lack of posting and move forward.
Over-thinking is the opposite of action. It’s inertia combined with fear, stress, guilt. It’s the expectation that if you consider something long enough, going over and over it in your mind and checking for the smallest of nuances, eventually you will figure out the perfect resolution. Except, there is no perfect resolution. There is only resolution and action moving you forward.
So this week I made a decision to write about not-writing instead of ignoring it. For me, that’s the authentic choice. Authenticity isn’t about being perfect, in fact, I think the two are actually opposite dynamics of each other. And when it comes down to it, what I strive for most in my life is being as authentic as I can. Which means I choose to be imperfect…often.
So I think of this blog as a lesson in authenticity for me. Thanks for reading. I’m looking forward to getting back into the groove from here.